EMPATHY VS SYMPATHY

 

EMPATHY VS SYMPATHY

 

Empathy and sympathy are both ways we respond to the suffering of people around us. But there’s a crucial difference: Sympathy is acknowledging someone else’s pain, but empathy is choosing to feel the pain with them.

Main Difference – Empathy vs Sympathy

Empathy and sympathy are two nouns that deal with feelings and emotions. Many people assume that empathy and sympathy are synonyms since they are used in similar situations and arouse similar emotions. But there is a major difference between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy refers to the feeling of pity, compassion, and sorrow for another being’s misfortune. Empathy refers to the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. This is the main difference between empathy and sympathy.

 

What Is Sympathy? 

Sympathy is being aware of and sensitive to the needs and suffering of others. It’s recognizing or even honoring the reality of a tough situation. But although you’re expressing sadness, you still have an emotional boundary around yourself to keep from feeling what the sufferer is feeling. 

 

What Is Empathy? 

Empathy is understanding and vicariously experiencing what others are going through. It’s sitting in their pain. It takes creativity to empathize because you’ve got to imagine yourself in the situation of the other person and feel how heavy the burden truly is.

 

 

 

Sympathy vs. Empathy, Which One Is Better

 

Both sympathy and empathy are important relational and emotional skills and are helpful in different contexts. However, empathy is a must-have for relationships because empathy fuels connection. It’s not enough for the people we care about to acknowledge our experiences. It’s not enough that people know about us. People aren’t living Wikipedia pages. We long to share our experiences.

 

At this point, you might be thinking that sympathy is bad, and empathy is good. Or at the very least, one is better than the other. Instead of thinking good or bad, think about the context.

Empathy is necessary, but it’s exhausting. It’s commitment. It’s deep, deep connection. And as citizens of a wired world, we are living under an onslaught of horrific news, sad stories and chaotic events that are out of our control. We can’t practice empathy for every single person on the planet we would eventually burn out.

Sympathy can be helpful. It allows us to learn about the oppression, pain and tragedy running rampant in our world and then make decisions about how we can intentionally influence our community. Sympathy makes sure our eyes are open and aware, and it informs our actions.

But when it comes to the people we are given to love and care for our family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, church community empathy is essential. In fact, the depth of your relationships will be determined by the depth of your empathy.  

 

How to Practice Empathy 

Empathy, just like other relationship skills, is a choice. It’s choosing to sit next to hurting people and keep your mouth shut. You can only learn empathy by listening to other people’s stories and witnessing their pain.

Be a good listener. 

Empathetic people are good listeners. They look people in the eye and nod. They ask follow-up questions. And they’re not listening for their turn to tell a 2.0 version of the story that this person is telling. Practice entering into conversations just to listen. Just to affirm. Just to laugh at someone else’s jokes.

When you’re in a conversation with someone you care about, be intentional with your focus. Put your screens down. Demonstrate physically and verbally that the person you’re with is the most important thing in your world at this moment.

Practice mirroring. 

Mirroring is the act of reflecting someone to themselves. It’s a tremendous way to help people feel seen and validated. If your partner comes home and shares a story about their terrible boss, you could say something like, “That suck. It sounds like you’re feeling tired and frustrated. I can understand why you’d be discouraged.”

Connect with people by using phrases like “Tell me how that feels” or “Tell me more about that.” Both statements are invitations for the person you’re with to connect on a deeper level.

Remember: Empathy is about connection. It’s choosing to experience what someone else is experiencing. It’s not about solutions because empathy is often the solution in and of itself.

Remember that it’s not your job to fix everything. 

Another way to practice empathy is to resist the urge to jump to problem solving mode when people open up with you.

Most of us think way too highly of ourselves and are way too quick to offer our opinions. People rarely need our rants about what they should have done or what you would have done. Most people most of the time just need to be heard. When we tell people how they should fix their problems, they’ll only feel more incompetent or out of control. They’ll shut down.

 

Don’t compare suffering or grief. 

The experience of tragedy is confusing and disorienting. And one of the things we often do when we’re hurting is trying to make sense of our pain by comparing our situation with someone who is better or worse off than we are. This is called comparative grief, and it’s pointless and damaging.

When someone is suffering, don’t point out the silver lining. Don’t remind them that things could be worse. They’ll make sense of it over time, but that comes later in the grieving process. This is a BIG one: Do not tell them about a time when you (or your cousin’s friend’s roommate) had a way bigger tragedy. Simply acknowledge the pain of what this person in front of you is going through, no matter how big or small.

Read fiction. 

Yes, you read that right! Getting lost in a good novel could make you better at relationships. Stories allow us to practice empathy because they transport you emotionally into someone else’s experience. Fiction gives us a window into what the characters are thinking and feeling and how they’re processing the world. A good book is a reality simulator for real life.

 

What are the benefits of empathy?

·    Having empathy can also help you to improve your communication skills. That’s because you’re able to listen fully to others and understand their perspectives. In fact, research shows that empathy can even help sustain cooperation during social dilemmas.